-- tea and crackers (penn)

[sydney]

At first, Sydney had been worried that this little get together would be awkward, but after they had arrived, everything seemed to smooth over quite well. She brewed the tea, she served it with a few crackers and it was a good reunion. He spoke of his travels and how things have been the last four years. He had seen so many things and she envied that about him. She may have been hurt that he took off, but he managed to really get a view of the world and it was good for him. At least she did get something out of the last few years. Her own business, her freedom, and independence. So regardless of how it turned out, the pair came out relatively well off. They were both hurt over what had been done to them, but they weren't tragic children who didn't know who to live on, they were survivors. It was good to be close to someone again and it was almost like he never left. Laughing with him again felt so right, it was almost hard to believe it's been so long since they had.

"Wow.." She whispered in retrospect of their entire conversation. She rested her head against the back of her green sofa as she looked at him. A warm cup of tea rested snug between her delicate hands as her blue eyes scanned over his face. He has been through so much, and he managed to come out looking better than he ever did before. Kudos. Some days Sydney felt like she had aged ten years over night and that was never good. Especially for such a small woman. Aging needed to be gradual, not instantaneous like with some women. She sighed as she pulled back from the couch and took another sip of her tea before it was gone. She ran her thumb across the rim of the cup before she slowly rose to her feet. She took the empty plate of crackers with her and placed them against the counter before pouring more of the tea he had brought with him. It had been something she had never had before and it had been a nice surprise for her taste buds. She then moved back over to him and plopped right back in front of him.

"Bloody hell, you've been all over and I've been stuck here in Lampton all this time." She said, not meaning for it sound bitter if it did. She rested her head against her hand as she just stared at him. She envied his experiences, but she was glad to have him back home. Safe and sound and not dead like she had irrationally thought many times. She sighed softly and contently as her eyes darted gently from side to side. She took in the sight of him and she felt her chest tighten up again, like it was about explode from all the pressure her heart was putting on. What were you doing, Sydney? He's been home for a few hours and you are already venturing back to that part of your brain that is telling you to push this a bit too far. Bad girl. Sometimes, Sydney had to internally tell herself to quit, it was a just a little quirk of hers. Especially when it came to situations like the one she was finding herself in at that very moment. She looked away and took a deep sip of the tea before her eyes moved back to him.

"Regardless, I'm glad you're home." She said warmly and let her small hand reach out and touch his knee. A harmless touch no? No, not really. She found that to be true when she looked down at what she had just done before she played it off like it wasn't a big deal, despite internally screaming. A part of her was telling her this was wrong, while the other was asking her, 'why not'? She has been a divorced woman for two years now, him longer. What was the shame in finding solace in each other like they had four years ago? They were both aware of themselves, the situations, why was it such a bad thing. Because she was so conditioned to believe that Penn was just a friend, off limits territory, the fact that he wasn't anymore was terrifying. Sydney let out an almost silent, shuddered breath as she looked at him. Her eyes glistened with moisture as she waited for him to brush her away and to pretend that it hadn't happened. A part of her hoped he did and didn't take offense. But a part of her prayed he didn't. Such a complex feeling.

[penn justice prescott]

It was bizarre to think that it was already well into the evening. Somewhere between the glorious sunrises in Nepal and the hijinks in Turkey, the shadows within Sydney’s sitting room had grown longer, gripping tightly to the wonderful green fabric of her furniture before they could no longer, and retired with what remained of the sun in the western skies. It felt strange to recount these tales to her, mostly because of the fact that they’d never been away from each other long enough to collect such elaborate stories that took more than a couple hours to tell. Before the Great Dinner Debacle of 2005, there hadn’t been much cause for them to sit down and talk like this; mostly because they’d been in each others company nearly every day. In those days it was merely hours that separated the two between their intermittent meetings, whereas now it had been 4 years.

T

[/b]hough the feeling was strange, there was an uncanny… An uncanny rightness to it. You would think that after years of separation, the conversation between the two would be forced and uncomfortable, however it was quite the opposite. Once they’d endured the initial awkwardness of fumbling for a beginning point, it was easy as kittens from there on out. Sydney spoke of her business and how she was keeping herself occupied. She divuled her feelings to him in regards to her new found freedom and how much of an impact it had had on her life, and she described her initial reaction to the news that her daughter was engaged and was to be wed shortly thereafter. From there they reminisced about the days in which Alyson had been but a wee girl, toddling about with sticky fingers in her mouth and multi-colored band-aids on her shins. As teacups drained and crackers were reduced to crumbs, the conversation developed into a series of fascinating tales involving feisty sherpas, rugged country, camels, and a particularly exciting anecdote describing a drunken night in Bangladesh.

Strangely enough, The Great Dinner Debacle of 2005 was never brought up in their thorough and lengthy line of conversation. They sort of managed to skirt around it, perhaps fearful that if they touched on it for just a moment, the sheer splendor of their conversation would be sullied.

After finishing a story about a particularly nasty street vender in Nepal, Penn found his eyes moving towards the clock for the first time in what had been hours. 10:28?! No, they couldn't have been talking for that long. Surely there was some mistake. He shifted his weight a bit on the couch, angling his body towards her a bit more as she resumed her place beside him after having filled another cup of tea for him. He smiled warmly at her, mirroring her body language as he rested his head upon the palm of his hand before he looked down at his leg tucked under him. "Yeah I guess I have..." he said gently, replying to her statement on how he'd been all over. “I suppose I needed it… But,” he began, perhaps more mournfully than he’d meant. “I don't know if I was ever, I dont know, happy?" he said, trying to think of the best way to describe how he felt about the whole 'missing in action thing' but not really dong an apt job at it. “I missed... Things here. A lot of them." He looked up, holding her gaze for what seemed like too long before he had to look away once more.

H[/b]e took up the fresh cup of tea she’d brought him and breathed in its floral aroma; jasmine. He took a tentative sip, the warm, but not scalding liquid sliding down his throat easily. After a moment of sitting in what could arguably be considered comfortable silence, he heard her murmur of praise at his return and the gentle feeling of her hand upon his knee. He didn’t know what it was, but all of a sudden he felt flustered. He couldn’t explain it. Could it have been the hand upon him? Surely not, that would have been such a silly thing to obsess over like this. Regardless of the cause, he suddenly experienced a tremor throughout his body, causing him to loosen his grasp on his mug and spill the beverage upon the knee that was not otherwise engaged. Starlted, he quickly jumped up from the couch, breathing through the burning sensation on his skin and checking to see he had not stained her couch. “Oh crap, I’m so sorry,” he said. “See, I told you it was inevitable that I’d make a mess.”
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[sydney]

There were many times over the last four years that Sydney wished she could have just up and left. Disappear for a while and just have herself as company. However, her duty to her family took precedence over any selfish feelings she had at all. She wanted to think for only herself, but her girls were still in school at the time. She needed to be their mother and she stayed. She didn't regret her decisions, but she did regret not being able to get out of Lampton when she could. But she had so much to look forward too. Her eldest was about to get married to a wonderful young man, her youngest was on her way to becoming a very successful career woman, and her business was blossoming. She was 3 for 4 at this point. Who was number four? Was it Alex? Not anymore. Maybe it was just three now, and she was okay with that. Despite their long and intriguing conversation, her mind did tend to wander onto other things even if it was for a few moments. She was grateful for the fact that the night of the dinner was never brought up. Saved them the grief. Despite it having been four years since it happened, it still stung to think about. The idea of two marriages being ruined in one fell swoop, it was hard to handle at times. But every day the pain seemed to lessen just a little bit more. There were days that she could almost stand to be in the same room as Alex.

Her eyes didn't move from Penn as he spoke, her expression a mixture of pensiveness and interest as he said that he didn't know if he was ever happy when he was away. That he missed things. She looked down there, her eyes dancing over the thread of the sofa, understanding what he meant. Lampton Hill had it's perks, it's beauty. It was a bane for all this gossiping ways of the town's women, but other than that, it was a wonderful place to life. But he also missed things here. Tristan was an adult now. He missed the college years for his son, and even if he wasn't biologically his, he was still his son. Despite the anger that surrounded that night, family didn't only mean blood. Penn raised that boy, and no matter what, he was still his father. He had to know that.

Then she watched a change in Penn, right after she placed her hand on his knee. Had she invaded his personal space? She was still confused on the nature of their friendship, their relationship, whatever it was. She was giving him signals and he was reacting to them in ways that made her feel foolish for even sending them. What was she thinking, he was an old friend. Regardless of their past, he didn't need this from her. She watched as the tea splashed onto his other knee and he jumped from the couch with a start. She listened as he apologized and she simply shook her head and rose to her feet. "Not to worry, I'll go get a towel to clean it up." She then moved away from him and into the kitchen swiftly. Her eyes scanned over the counter and found the towel she was looking for. She yanked it free and made her way back to the mess. She smiled as she looked to her couch and seeing nothing there before offering him the towel. She allowed herself time to look over at her clock to see what time it was. 10:31?! Was it really that late? She then turned her body back to Penn's as she ran her hands down her sides to pull her tank top down a bit.

"Boy time flys doesn't it?" She said, her hand going to run through her hair as she contemplated what to say next. If he was planning on staying somewhere else, he ought to head out now. She didn't want him to leave, but maybe it was for the best. If she kept acting the way she was, she would surely push him out the door. She sighed, giving him a gentle smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes as she shrugged. "It's late, maybe we call it a night before you lose your chance at catching a bed to sleep in down at the inn." She said, moving to gather up the mess that they had created, grabbing dishes to clean up her living room. "We can always get coffee in the morning or something. If you wanted, that is." She said, masking her disappointment for ushering him out. She just wanted things to be okay between them. The last thing she wanted was her only friend being uncomfortable around her. She then moved back toward him, offering another one of her small smiles. "I'm just glad your home. I won't steal anymore of your time." She said, her hand moving to stroke his arm gently. She then slid away and moved off into the kitchen to place the dishes into the sink with a gentle clink.

[penn justice prescott]

There was something so lovely about the way she dealt with things. There was a cool collectedness that seemed to emanate from her; something that allowed her to remain calm in situations that might have otherwise been considered hectic or make a lesser person flustered. Penn had become so skittish lately that it was even a wonder he'd managed to stave off spilling somthing for so long. But for all the erraticism he seemed to have gained, she remained as she always had been; the serene, unruffled women who found patience when dealing with his short comings. He never understood how she was able to tolerate his clumsy ass; is seemed as if he could ruin a hundred of her couches with his bumbling incapabilities and she’d still find the patience within herself to wave it off. Though it didn’t make sense, Penn appreciated this about her. It was what he loved about her; that a women as elegant and together as herself could care for a man as uncoordinated and ungainly as himself.

He noted the familiar tone in her voice; the one that suggested that the conversation had come to an end and that it was nearing the time for them to go their own separate ways. He nodded as she noted the lateness of the evening, attempting wipe the wet spot from his knee with his hand. It didn’t do much good. After fruitlessly trying to salvage the appearance of his jeans, he noticed her beginning to tidy up the space that they’d sought refuge in for close to six hours. He moved to help her, to grab their used dishes, but was stopped short on account of her getting to them first. Before he could offer any of his assistance, she was already off towards the kitchen, managing with perfect easy to balance the multitude of delicate china in her arms. It was just as well he supposed; it was more than likely that if he were to transport them himself, he'd just end up dropping them.

He rubbed the back of his neck a bit, watching her quietly as she bustled about with tidying up. “Coffee sounds great. I’ll give you a ring tomorrow,” he said, offering her his classic crooked smile despite the uncomfortable feeling in his chest that had begun to grow. He understood that he was being selfish in thinking this, but he wanted to stay longer, to take up more of her time just sitting and conversing with her. The ease with which he found laughing and reminiscing with her felt wonderful; it prompted him to stay in this godforsaken town just a little while longer, and made the prospect of facing all the old drama from their past a little more bearable. Despite the grief and that hardship that he was bound to find, it was comforting to know that he had Sydney; his strength despite the odds that were waiting to take him down.

He smiled down at her as she affectionately stroked his arm. “Thanks Syd. For everything,” he said gently, finding that for some inexplicable reason, his breath was getting caught in his chest. And with that, he grabbed up his belongings and departed, though not without one last lingering look at the beautiful blond woman who was now on her way to unloading more dishes into the sink.

After their time spent together Penn had expected to feel some sense of relief, warmth; anything that would put him in a good mood that would at least last him till he got to his hotel. However as he made his way down the stairs of her apartment complex he couldn’t help but feel like he was missing something important. There was a feeling in his stomach, like a windy hole had been carved there without his knowing. It was like he’d left a part of himself upstairs on that green couch of hers, and without it, he was having trouble breathing. With each step he took he could feel just how big the space between him and Sydney was becoming, and the knowledge that he would be leaving her once again, even if only for a night, was unbearable.

Why on earth was he leaving that beautiful woman? Why had he allowed himself get up from that couch and be convinced that the proper thing to do would be to leave? As far as he was concerned the only thing that seemed to make any sense was being with her; so why was he so set on keeping the distance between them?

An inexplicable electricity coursed throughout his entire body and he found that instead of descending the steps to the street below, he was racing his way back up to the floor he’d previously come from. It was as if he was unconscious, yet somehow incredibly focused on the carnal desire he’d felt ever since the moment he’d seen her but had been too oblivious to notice it until now. He barely understood what it was he was doing until he reached Sydney’s door. Without any sort of sense of formalities or manners, Penn flung the door open, dropped his belonging at the doorway, crossed what little space there was between him and Sydney, and without a word, locked lips with her, his fingers plunging into the depths of her wonderous gold hair. Something inside of his chest released and he just knew; this was exactly where he wanted to be.

[sydney]

The sound of her door closing shattered her as she stared at. Her blue eyes danced over the frame and she slowly looked away, her hair sliding over her face. Just as well. He needed to sort himself and he couldn't very well do that with her there. He needed time to himself, despite having had that for the last four years, and she was more than willing to give it to him. The last thing Sydney wanted to do was push him away. Penn was the only person she really could trust anymore. Not Alex, not anyone else. She stood there in the kitchen, listening to the sound of her heart slamming against her ribcage.

"Coffee sounds great. I'll give you a ring tomorrow,"

He would be good on his word, so why did she feel so cold? Why did she feel an undeniable ache in her chest as she just stared at that door. Would he actually ring her or would he just wait her out for a while, until he really knew what he wanted from her. They had acted rashly four years ago. Giving into their desire for each other in a state of drunken grief. They had lost their marriages, their very identities so it was only natural that you would turn to someone who would understand your pain. A person who was going through the same pain you were. That was Penn, but there was more to it than that. There was more to the one night stand, and a stolen kiss.

"Thanks Syd. For everything."

His voice lingered in her mind as she tried to keep her cool. She moved closer to the door as she grabbed the towel off the table. She folded it in her hands as she found herself stealing another glance at the door. Why did she think that he would just walk right back in here? She was being foolish. She then turned and looked down at the sofa, her eyes scanning the material and the hue. Then she thought of that night, so many years ago, back in school when her and Penn had shared that kiss on that God awful couch. The color had been offensive to the eyes and it's stench hadn't been pleasant but the moment had been. Then it clicked in her head. The small things. She felt her eyelids flutter as she turned back to the door, her eyes glistening as she dropped the towel back down on to the table below her. The little things between her and Penn were what really mattered to her. When she looked back on her relationship with Alex, all she could remember were the big moments. Their wedding day, their first anniversary, the day Aly was born, the day Kayla was born. But nothing else. She couldn't remember if he brought home flowers for her on a random summer afternoon because he wanted to brighten her day. Not once. She remembered every time Penn came to the house with a silly stain on his shirt and she would clean it off for him. She remembered the way his skin smelled when he saved her from herself. She remembered how warm he had been the night they made love. She remembered the smell of the grass in the wooded area she found him in. She remembered everything little thing. And that's when she realized. She shouldn't have let him walk out that door.

A shudder left her lips as she let her tiny body move toward the door, as if she were on autopilot. Then, something miraculous happened. Her front door flew open and she burned this memory in her mind. The way his things hit her hard wood floor. The way he moved toward her with unwavering determination. Sydney inhaled sharply before their lips met in a deep kiss, her body melting into his. Tears stung in the corners of her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Without a word, she continued the kiss as she jumped onto him. She locked her legs around his waist as her hand slipped up the back of his head.

He came back.

Had he been thinking the same thing she was? How the distance between them was the last thing they needed? She hoped so. She moaned softly against his lips before she was forced to pull away for air. Damn the need for oxygen. She shuddered, her lips never leaving his as she forced her eyes to open. She didn't want her old life back, she didn't want to pretend like none of the bad things had ever happened to her. She wanted what was right in front of her. Who was holding onto her this very moment. If you had asked her five years ago if she would be in this situation, she may have tossed it aside as being ridiculous. But here she was, and it was all she ever wanted. She wanted to apologize for letting him leave, to just say something romantic or appropriate but she couldn't think of anything to say other than what left her lips.

"Don't you dare leave again." She whispered huskily before she initated the kiss this time. Her lips claimed his deeply, her golden blonde locks falling over her shoulders as she pulled herself against him, getting lost in the way he smelled, the way he tasted. She just wanted to get lost in him again like she did so many years ago. This time, there was nothing to hold them back, nothing to keep them from having what they wanted. She let her hands stroked against the sides of his face, her delicate fingertips sliding across the planes of his skin before she pulled away again. Her nose nuzzled against his a little and a soft giggle left her lips.

Finally.

[penn justice prescott]

and in that moment i swear we were infinite

There was something so tragically wonderful about the two of them. Although there was an aspect of all of this that seemed inherently wrong, it was kind of poetic how two wronged souls adrift in a world so entirely alien to them could find solice and closure in each other. There was something timeless about the two of them; an epic quality to their strange romance. By all counts, whatever this thing was between them, it wasn’t supposed to have happened. They’d been intended for other people; they’d vowed to love, protect, and cherish their respective partners for eternity and had built their very identities around these people. Since they’d been kids, the both of them knew that Sydney was meant to be Alex’s and Penn was meant to be Lucy’s. However, despite this solid knowledge, it was pointless to deny that there’d always been something there between Syd and Penn. Granted it was a small something, but a something none the less.

They’d never been meant for each other, this much was known, but Penn refused to believe that all the times they’d felt electricity in the seemingly most routine conversations, all the times he’d feel his skin heat up when she’d laugh at one of his jokes, and that night they’d spent tangled up in each other had been mere flukes. There was something substantial in this and he couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if things had been different. What if she hadn't married Alex? What if Penn had never gotten back together with Lucy when they'd broken up in collage? Would there have been a possibility for the both of them? One that didn't involve heartbreak and torment, but just involved the two of them possibly being in love and possibly having a life together?

He uttered a barely audible gasp as her lips obliged his, locking and unlocking in heated waves of pent up passion that had been festering for years yet hadn’t had a chance to manifest until this moment. His arms wrapped around the small of her back; fingers grasping at the flimsy fabric of her top and tucking her close so that not even a fraction of space could separate them. He relished quietly in the feeling of her legs wrapped around him, her limbs tangled in every aspect of him, and their breaths drawn in sync. He’d almost forgotten how well she seemed to fit against him. It was almost instinctive how they could find the places that needed to be touched and the skin that needed to be kissed. Like puzzle pieces they were; fitting together in all the right places.

He sucked in the air hungrily as she broke away to speak, though not so far that their lips parted. He felt her words on his bottom lip; serious and utterly sincere. He nodded, a hand of his climbing up the steady incline of her neck and a thumb tracing the bowl of skin behind her delicate collar bone. “Not without you I won’t,” he breathed before they were swept up in another round of furious kissing.

What was that smell? Was it her hair? Or maybe it was her skin. Whatever it was it smelt wonderful and Penn couldn’t seem to get enough of it. He released his lips from hers for a moment so that he might breathe in that scent a little longer, their noses touching and their breath warming each others lips. There was something about the way her fingers would roam the planes of his face that made him feel weak in the knees. It was such a gentle thing; so tender, and with the trill of her giggle ringing in his ears he was nearly ready to just melt into her. “I’m sorry,” he murmured gently, his lips moving along the line of her jaw and then down her neck. “I’m so sorry,” he reiterated against the soft skin that hid behind her earlobe before trailing kisses back down her cheek. “I was an idiot,” he breathed against her lips before he captured her in a deep kiss, his hand plunging into her beautiful blond hair once more. In the heat of the moment he found his feet leading him god knows where, and without the slightest bit of hesitation, his chest leaned into hers so that her back was pressed up against the nearest wall, his strong hands running up the bare expanse of back underneath her shirt.