THE WHO
JERK. WORK. QUIRK. Daniel Grayson Cohen
AGE. Eighteen
BIRTHDAY. February 24th, 1992
OCCUPATION. Cinema Complex employee / “plant enthusiast”
BIRTH PLACE. London, England
NATIONALITY. English
ORIENTATION. Meh. Heterosexualish.
PREMADE TITLE. n/a
PLAYBY. Ash Stymest
THE WHAT
JERK. It wasn’t so much that Daniel was a jerk versus the fact that he acted like one that was the problem. For whatever reason, he chose to act like he knew know better than to treat people like they were just as scummy as he was. It was expected this trait came from his father, a man who was just as forward as he was backward. But that didn’t really make it excusable. When called out for acting this way it isn’t unlikely for Danny to roll his eyes and continue on the way he began. He used to get into trouble for it all the time, but after certain people realized he was just going to take his punishment without flinching and continue acting the way he pleased changing his outward attitude towards others was forgotten.
WORK. Although he is technically a ticket taker at Cinema Complex, Danny’s job title doesn’t end there. When he’s not tearing tickets and directing people to the correct theatre, the boy is busy selling… well, plants. Yes, that’s what he calls himself. A plant enthusiast. Though other botanists might think his idea of the perfect plant is a little skewed. But who cares what the plant looks like when he’s offering a discount on a ½ ounce bag that would normally cost almost fourty pounds? No one, that’s who. And, as they say, if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck it must be a duck. There’s no hiding the fact that Daniel partakes in the recreation and there’s even less hiding the fact that he sells it. It’s simply written all over his face.
QUIRK. When not acting like a jerk (generally when those around him have been deemed worthy of his presence) there is a side of Danny that has a much lighter attitude. He is, when not acting like a total ass, quite smiley and quirky. There are a lot of little things he does that can be considered quirky, like dragging his tongue over his teeth while he’s thinking, fiddling with his hair (or his hair in general) and the fact that he can be nice when he wants to be. Often Daniel mistakes sarcasm for wit and overuses the eye roll despite the fact that it’s effect died in 1995. Like a sheep in wolves clothing, Daniel can turn it on and off like a light switch. He just doesn’t know when to use which side of his personality or how to blend them together. A lot of people say he’s like a time bomb and that some day he’s going to go off on the wrong person if he keeps up with the way he flickers back and forth between jerky and quirky.
LIKES. Tattoos, movies, having the worst haircut in the history of haircuts, blue flavor, popsicles, suspenders, Americans, jelly beans, cartoons, the smell of baby lotion.
DISLIKES. Black outs, skim milk, Christopher Walken, carbon copy paper, religious propaganda, police, gender ambiguity, girls who don’t wear pants, girls who wear tights as pants, waxy vegetables.
THE WHY
BEST MEMORY. As silly as it may seem, Daniel’s best memory isn’t something that greatly changed his life or even something that the other person it involves probably remembers. One night upon coming home from school (late, as usual), Danny found his father in their lounge room. He was rather inebriated but it wasn’t anything Daniel wasn’t used to. The shocking point was when the older man asked his son to join him. Expecting the worst, Danny was cautious in doing such but was pleasantly surprised when his father put in a movie and asked him to watch it with him. They spent the rest of the evening in front of the television watching the movie and joking back and forth with each other.
WORST MEMORY. Danny was probably thirteen or fourteen when his parents split up. Their problems had lasted for most of his life and there wasn’t a time that he could remember the two of them getting along. His mother believed his father was a dirty bastard and his father believed his mother was a filthy whore. So, naturally, fighting in his house was a given. But on one particular occasion his mother had been in the kitchen throwing out beer bottles when Daniel came in from the yard. He tripped and spilled over the trash bag she had leaned up against the counter while she gathered the last of the bottles. This resulted in the first and last time his mother hit him. And some people wonder why he chose to live with his father.
Being born is often a memorable point in most people’s lives. That is, unless your name is Daniel Cohen. In which case your birth is considered an absolute abomination, a catastrophe of epic proportions, a downright miserable turn out to the life of a young Catholic woman A young Catholic woman, who, might it be added, married a man who was not of her religion. In fact, William Cohen was Jewish. Was, past tense, as he had fallen out with religion as a whole prior to meeting Matilda Wynne. Apparently it didn’t matter to these two young people at the time they were getting all sweaty and hot in the backseat of William’s car. What was it that they said about riding in cars with boys? And wasn’t there even a movie? Hmm.
Well, it resulted in babies, that’s what came of it. Babies that parents didn’t approve of, that young mothers didn’t want, that young fathers resented. Babies. Daniel Cohen was one of those babies, born of leather back seats and high hemmed skirts. But, as was natural, babies turned into toddles and toddlers turned into whatever came after toddlers. It wasn’t hard to believe that Danny had been a good kid, or as good as any kid who lived under a roof with two people forced to marry by their parents who really didn’t care for one another. Rebellion was expected of him, even at six and seven years old. He used to hear family members tell his mother that it would only be a couple of years before “that midget goes wonky.”
Apparently they were all right, but it took a few more years than they all expected. Daniel was mostly well behaved as a child. He went to school every day and went to church with his mother every Sunday (despite the fact that his father thought forcing their child to do something he may not want to do was the same as brainwashing him). He even walked his grandparents dog every Sunday afternoon. That was, of course, until his parents split. They had never been the perfect family. Their faults showed on the outside as much as they did on the inside and Daniel was probably the only one who was any good at keeping his problems to himself.
When he was thirteen they hit a roadblock they couldn’t pass and his mother finally filed for divorce. Daniel was given the choice of who he wanted to stay with, and surprisingly his usually uninvolved father was trying to influence him to stay with him instead of going with his mother (Danny only assumed it was because of the incident that took place between his mother and himself right before the divorce papers were signed). Having always been a bit scared of his mother and with that rebellious spot in him everyone was waiting for, Danny chose to live under his father’s roof. He has lived with his father ever since, and the rebellion has only fully begun to take form. Gone a bit wonky would be kind of an understatement.
THE HOW
RP SAMPLE.No thanks, broseph. Already did that.
I,
JESSE AM
TWENTY ON MONDAY AND HAVE READ ALL THE REQUIRED INFORMATION. NOT TO MENTION THINK THIS SITE IS REALLY RAD. JUST SO YOU KNOW MY FAVOURITE THING IS
SINGING BADLY, LOUDLY AND TO MYSELF AND I FOUND WWB
WHEN I WAS ON CRACK.
