it's not right, but it's okay [soph]

[nathaniel devlin o'shea]

God, it was late. The stars were already twinkling against the sky. As he stepped out of his car, Nathaniel couldn’t believe how dark it was. He was a little shocked by this discovery. Was it always this dark this time of day? Having spent the day trudging away at the pile of reports underneath the harsh clarity of the fluorescent lights, he’d completely lost any sense of time. He could’ve sworn that not an hour ago, he’d been cursing the downright lethargy with which each second seemed to drag by. The outside world must have been running on a faster clock. How else could the world have turned so dark already?

Of course, it was always this dark. He’d never come home before twilight, and he never left after sunset. Those were the only times the man got a chance to see the outside of an office. Every other hour of the day was absorbed by work in some form or another. He simply hadn’t noticed, because, in the weeks prior, the man had been so entirely exhausted that he couldn’t even bother. Nathaniel couldn’t complain about that, though. He’d brought it upon himself, after all.

Despite Sophie’s insistence that their small apartment home was fine, perfect, in fact, the man could not settle that niggling little voice inside his brain that told him that he absolutely needed a house. A big grey house with a wide green lawn and a long white fence. He imagined bright summer days when his wife would be tending the garden as Holly did summersaults in the grass. He’d be resting on the porch with a jug of lemonade and a good book. He could see it so clearly, and that beautiful image was what drove the man to work two jobs and come home at such an ungodly hour. Sure, he’d miss out on some things, but he could make up for it once he reached his goal. Right now, he had to focus. The house was on his mind practically every day, but especially on the Fridays when he deposited his paycheck. Nate absolutely loved seeing the balance in his account grow. It meant that his dream was getting closer every day.

But, for now, he’d have to survive with what he had. Sighing heavily, he trudged up the stairs to his little apartment. As he fumbled about for his keys, he could hear sounds of giggling behind the door. He knew Holly wasn’t in bed. Shaking his head, he turned the key in the lock and stepped angrily through the door. His suspicions were confirmed as he saw the toddler dancing about across the floor. Annoyed he turned to his wife, not a few steps behind her.

“Why isn’t she in bed? It’s late,” he asked as calmly as he could.

[sophie esther o'shea]

Priorities were a funny thing. In her heart, Sophie knew that Nate’s priorities were for family. He wanted a house for his family. It was sweet in theory. But honestly if he wanted his family to be happy, why did he not listen to Sophie when she told him she didn’t need the big house? That all she and Holly needed was him to be around. Material possessions didn’t mean anything. What Sophie wanted was for her family to actually be a family. For her husband to eat a meal at the correct time once in a while. For Holly to see her father in the day light. For Sophie, god forbid, to be able to sit on the couch and watch a movie with her husband.

Alas though, she’d spent another night at home alone with her daughter. She’d considered calling Lukas and asking him to come over... But she’d already made him sit on the phone with her for his entire lunch break, and he’d been over the last three nights in a row. The man needed his space. She couldn’t just expect him to be there for her every moment of everyday. He needed to live his own life. Meet new people. He’s life shouldn’t have to revolve around Sophie and Holly. As much as she’d like to think that it could be this way. Reality had to set in at some point.

At dinner, Holly had been rather grumpy. She hadn’t wanted to listen to anything Sophie had saying. Which was rather frustrating for the petite mother. What was more frustrating though, was that the little child kept saying ‘Only gonna listen to daddy. Not you!’ Sophie knew enough about children to guess that this was probably the young child’s way to express her negative feelings. Sophie couldn’t actually remember the last time Nathaniel spent more than five minutes with his daughter. Of course it was going to have an effect on Holly. The kid needed her father.

The only way Sophie could even get Holly in the bath was to promise she could stay up to see her daddy. It was cheap bribery but she had been desperate. Besides, she didn’t think it was that much of a horrid thing. It wasn’t like she was offering the toddler sweet things or ice-cream. Seeing her father shouldn’t be a treat to start with. So in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t that bad. It got the girl into the bath and ready for bed. She was just hoping tonight wouldn’t be one of those nights Nate was home closer to midnight.

After the bath, the mother and daughter had settled in to watch a movie. Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses, thank you very much. For the hundredth time that month. When you were a mother, you got used to watching things over and over. At the end of the movie, Nathaniel still hadn’t arrived home yet. And Holly was getting a little restless. That was how the chasing game had started. The child was acting a little disruptive, so Sophie thought channelling Holly’s energy might be a smart idea. Plus, it took both their minds off waiting for Daddy to get home.

Hearing the key in the lock, Sophie couldn’t help feel a nervous thrill run through her. She never knew just what sort of mood he was going to be in when he got home. Stopping, she tried to smile at him as he stepped inside and spoke. Doing her best not to get upset at his lack of greeting or harsh tone. “She wanted to see you...”

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